~.~
I cannot recognize my face –
so pale, forgotten how to feel,
my darkened eyes
now seem to me unreal……
An inner Universe is shattered,
unwilling anymore to heal.
How long did I just hold on
to empty hopes and hollow wish…
How long will deadly thorns
be stuck inside my broken heart,
reminding of the pain, reopening the seams.
How selfless can I love you
to show you what’s forever worth…
How long will I accept the blindfold-game you got me into,
the scattered hidden pieces that I seek for, one by one …
To search unknowingly and recognize them all,
I know – a punishment for my blank ignorance.
My life transformed into a mess,
broadcasting dreadful masquerade of silence.
How far will I crawl kneeling,
praying for a single touch,
an honest look, some truthful words,
if even just to tell me that the end is near.
How often will I have to die inside my head,
the hazy loneliness where dreams keep disappearing…
My home’s too empty, I’m missing you too much…
How long will I be hurting,
before I let my dignity to resurrect?
I beg of you this one last time, please tell me.
I beg of you, please save me, say those words. I prayed.
I beg, but no one listens, no one’s there,
you are not near.
I am still hurt.
Abandoned space surrounding my bare being,
untouched, mistrusted and unwilling
I remain, my wounds turn clearer.
I forgive, forget and move on.
Without my heart, within my head.
I look myself inside the mirrors,
still do not recognize my face –
so pale, so ugly, somehow dead,
my hand is shaking,
my heart – forgotten how to feel,
my darkened eyes, my world – unreal,
an inner Universe is shattered,
unwilling anymore to heal.
I’ll always love you,
don’t forget me.
Love,
Jade