~.~
The moment that you saved me
I have given you my heart and soul.
My life, my thoughts and all I know.
Unwanted as it was, indeed it happened,
collision of a single world,
of my own life and death.
The moment that our eyes met
was just perfect,
a lifetime’s worth of living.
An existence wholesome was divided,
part of me remained and part of me collided.
I have given you my heart, my soul, my trust,
my hopes belong to you now
and in exchange you’ve let me
stay with you.
You’ve let me stay inside this dream
of signs and symbols, melodies enchanted
and your sweet sweet-ringing voice,
but finally you’ve emptied my life of your presence,
you’ve let me fall into an endless pitch-black tempting void.
And now you’re gone forever, left me painfully alone.
*
A paradox of life and matter,
of time and all those circumstances –
non-existing, but still here, still relevant, related.
Still facing us inside the mirror.
I look up and I see your face,
enclosed so deeply into memory and clouds,
they let me wondering each day if I’m still here, if I’m still breathing,
as mighty storms reverberate within me,
just as they do so well without.
Am I still living?
Am I just too afraid to go outside and shout?
If all’s unreal then what am I?
What is it?
What is this suffocating heartly feel?
Why do I still so badly wish that you were real?
What do I fear?
What is it?
***
I know one thing for certain and it’s that I will never know for sure.
What’s real sometimes is something that just feels so perfectly untrue.
The stinging memory of intertwining, of those separate worlds
that are not more than one,
began before I met you
and I loved you even long before I knew I can.
Irrelevant now, we’re all dead – in countless times,
still multiplying as the verses of a song with just one single line.
Too little or too much, too lost in memories or future hopes,
or maybe grounded here and now,
but we all feel, and wish there was a way to know.
And live through it, breath in and dive,
then let it go and for a moment feel alive,
in blissful ignorance, forgetting how to say goodbye, in time.
And the reflection’s waving back, awaiting for us to lay down, surrender one day and just peacefully collide.
~.~
Jade
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