Kategorie: Unsent Letters

~

I think about you every day.
Every day in the enclosure of my dream world.
I hope about you every day,
that you will live the life you´re keen of.

The words that have been left unsaid,
the deeds that were left unforgiven,
the proofs that took my pride and yet
nobody answers or received it…

Some day you might just know the difference
of who I were and what was I to give you.
Some day I might not mind the distance
and the cold you left for me to fear of.

Someday the wind might gently whisper
something of a faded memory
and somehow you will suddenly remember me
inside the warmest sunrays that I am now sending..
And if this memory becomes a smile,
and if this smile becomes a heartbeat,
I hope it fills you even for a moment or a while-
so I will know this love has never whithered..

~

In a world where there’s just you and me,
I am still searching.
I am still wondering if it was all just a dream.
I am still wandering in this endless desert of the whitest of planes.
I am still asking you if you can hear my thoughts.I am still praying for the moment your eyes will tell me the truth.
In a world where there’s just you and me,
I am still lost.
I am still reaching my hand toward an infinite emptiness.
Where are you?
Was it all just a dream?
Or was it all
just an echo
of a heartbeat?
Just an echo
of another life.

~

There’s nothing in the world somebody ever wanted,
more than I have wanted you.
There’s no one in the world who ever loved another, 
more than I will be forever loving you.

But that’s a life I only dreamed of,
somebody else’s place and time.
And it’s the greatest love that never faded,
but it belongs to someone else to live.
The kiss you placed upon my forehead was to you
so different than it was to me.
It stung my heart, it started racing
and in this race I wasted all there ever was to me.
There’s nothing in this world somebody ever wanted,
more than I have wanted for this love to be.

I’d trade my life, my soul, my whole surroundings just to know
that I will be the one you’re holding near.

~

Love was like a parachute fall. We were both on the same plane, flying over paradise. Secured at the door and waiting for a sign. But the sign never came, so I jumped anyway, hoping you would follow.

Love was like a parachute fall, but you left me fly alone. Now I have landed in paradise, wishing you were here, and you’re long gone, piloted by your own fear. Don’t come to look for me again, there’ll never be the same place, time or even plane.

And I missed you…

~

One month could feel like thousand years,
and yesterday seems has been gone forever.
The hand I held is distant, even non-existent
and all the promises have finally faded.
Our paths now separated,
our hearts bled dry to realize we have pretended.
My mind keeps telling me I really loved you
yet my soul knows love could never bear a doubt,
it always shows.
I know too that you never loved me either,
for when you love a girl you don’t fall for another.
And all my thoughts now scattered,
and there’s no warmth, no home.
We played a game and cheated no one but our souls,
for love can never be a theater, nor role.

~

If you somehow knew
that all the lies you’ve ever spoken
and all the unsaid truths
were to come back
as tears
in the eyes of your loved ones
would you still avert the truth?

~

I am trapped inside a blurry vision
of an elusive love
and a translucent hope,
that some day
we will be sitting 
next to each other once more,
enveloped in a thin silent veil
of peace and quiet knowing
that we will never be apart again.

~

I was doomed and saved by meeting you. I fell in love way too deep way too quickly. But damn it, how could have I known that you didn’t feel it. How could have known I didn’t occupy your thoughts all the time for the next three years like you did mine. How could have I known I wasn’t the reason for the shortness in your breaths, nor for you blushing just by thinking of me. I could have sworn it was so intense, the most intense connection I had ever felt or heard of. You blew my mind right there on the spot. The perfect timing in the crowd, everything led me to you. The talking, the neck kisses, everything. I swear the time had stopped. Like I was a teenager again and it was the first time I was falling in love. So intense. How could have I known that you didn’t go crazy looking for me under stone and tree like I did. How could I possibly think you would want to find me so insanely that you would mistake your wife’s eyes for mine, that you would see my face in hers, that you’d believe you’ve found me just so that you grant your mind some peace. How could I be so stupid to believe you won’t fall in love with another for years, like I couldn’t fall in love, no matter how hard the other men were trying, how perfect they led me to believe they were. How blind must I be to think you were getting the same overwhelming vibes in my presence as I did each time I saw you. Every time my heart started pounding I thought it was you, loving me back. How foolish of me. I must be the most naive person ever to have lived on this planet, because I really believed it was mutual. I found pieces of you everywhere and tried to put it all into place, to make this love story whole, to justify my insanity. But I couldn’t. I stand here, confused, still at the edge and trying to let go. Forcing myself to forget you as if I was about to cut my veins open. And I am still unable to grasp it. How could it be? How could you not feel it? I cannot recognize myself anymore, my mind, my thoughts, my breaths – I find you everywhere and I don’t even want to search anymore. I want it to stop. I want to know what it was… Damn it. Madness? Obsession? A demon maybe? What is this and why does it have such a hold on me? No reason or explanation. My mind has reached its limits. It must have been a heart’s thing. It must have been love. And I was the victim.

~

The sunrays are dancing with
the particles of dust and
all I can think of is how
I wish I’d give them all to you.